As I walked to my favorite little coffee shop on my lunch break I caught some of my self talk. It clearly had themes of anxiety. Feeling all the people’s energies around me. Overly concerned about my puppy’s walking behavior. Did I do the thing today? How am I going to afford this and that? My worry web started to get tangley.
Predictablely, I stated doing my therapist thing of getting curious. Going through the basic checklist of wellbeing. How was my sleep, did I eat today, I’m getting a bit of movement now, am I lonely. The same way I checklist my kids when they start showing their anxiety through their behavior - on the outside.
I realized I very much treat my anxiety with the same techniques and love that I show my children. I nurture it, get curious and have clear boundaries. I parent my anxiety.
Freud and I on our walk
You want to give it a try?
Checklist your anxiety
How’d you sleep?
Have you eaten?
How about caffeine intake?
Any movement?
Are you lonely?
Nurture your anxiety
How is your anxiety trying to protect you?
What messages are they trying to communicate?
What do you appreciate about the way your anxiety is trying to help?
What does this say about you as a person? [probably that you care a lot]
Clear boundaries
No avoiding
We have a worry window from this time to this time
Lean into the discomfort “I can handle this”
What this inside conversation might look like
I see you Anxiety, trying to work hard for me - thank you. I appreciate that you want great things for me. You’re scanning for danger and helping me stay focused on goals. You’re pretty great. I’m curious what’s going on right now for you because you’re outside our worry window. I need you to reset. I’m going to regulate my nervous system and I need you take a nap my love. We will talk about this tonight when I journal dump after dinner.
Regulating the nervous system
This will look different for all of us and our unique nervous systems. My system likes tapping, foam soap hand wash and lavender peppermint lotion, muscle tensing, rubbing hand together to generate heat and hold them to my eyes, and a nice ear pull. What does your nervous system enjoy?