These are strange times, no question. We’re collectively experiencing a trauma. While there is much to worry and complain about, at the same time there’s much opportunity for connection, rest and growth.
I was asked to do an interview with CBS about ways to support kids in this climate. The story was hijacked by Newsom’s announcement that schools would likely be closed until the Fall. That showbiz folx. You can see the story here if you’re interested. Silverlining is I was able to get clear on how to help. Here’s my $.02.
Your children likely feel stressed and anxious right now. You likely feel the same.
Do your best to manage this. If you need help, reach. We’re all in this together. I am offering a twice a month online support group after the kids go to sleep, or pretend to be sleeping that is; on Monday nights. With our messy hair and messy homes and messy lives. We’ll gather connect and lean on one another. If you’re experiencing a financial hardship we will work it out. You can sign up here.
When we are experiencing stress and anxiety we pass it to our kids in strange ways. We might have very little patience and explode a bit, try to control too much, or zone out on our phones. If you need it, here’s some permission to be human and give yourself a some grace. Do your best. Repair when you mess up. Remind your child that they’re good people and doing a good job, and this is hard.
When talking with them about this pandemic it’s a good idea to protect them from too much grown up information. Keep it factual and simple reassuring them that they’re safe and the grownups are handling this (fake it till you make it, if you have to).
Give them some control. Doesn’t it feel good to at least feel like some things are in your control? Share some of that power with your children. Empower them to fight back by washing hands and building their immune systems. Allow for many small choices throughout the day. Other ideas are to have your child be responsible for preparing meals or helping out with chores.
Rhythm, PLAY, ART and SNUGGLES! This is your magic recipe for maintaining your child’s mental health.
You are not alone in this. Some moments may feel like you are but you’re not. If we learn only one thing from this let it be how interconnected we truly are. Please reach out to me and join my group if you feel called. There are also many child and family therapist ready to help you and your family with online sessions. Give me a call if you’re needing a session.
You’re doing a good job.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Quick Recap: 5 tips to help your kid during the coronavirus pandemic
1. Manage your own stress and anxiety - it’s highly contagious. Join my online parent support group
2. Give only age-appropriate facts. Keep the scary stuff and media coverage away.
Coronavirus is new for humans. The immune system inside of vulnerable people, like grandparents or people who are sick can have a hard time.
Healthy grown ups and kids (like you ;) have strong immune systems that are able to fight off this virus.
We are staying home now to protect our whole community especially our vulnerable members.
3. Give kids some control
Protection: washing hands playfully together
Immune building: veggies, fruit, so much water and sleep, exercise
Choices throughout the day
4. Create safety with a playful daily rhythm and many words of affirmation
TONS of free play and art - this is how kids process trauma
TONS of outside time and movement
TONS of snuggles
Connect with community (facetime, marco polo, games)
Mindfulness
5. If anxiety and stress get too big get some support! There are ingenious therapists and child therapists excited to help you online.